i realised my reason for maintaining the same is just an excuse.
always been.
a chance for me to remember how it was like.
i missed my chance.
regret? maybe its fate.
still, at least.
at least,
and im contented.
its been one whole year.
seems to me like just not long ago that i had my last birthday.
i still remember the details.
the choc cake lovely 2C bought for me.
when everyone just took forks from canteen stalls and started eating.
the interesting surprise guides planned for me and hanxi.
another guides celebration after kayaking.
of course family's birthday dinner.
mango cake at home.
alyson's elmo puppet!
liying's tank cd!
guides pig soft toy!
esther and fiona's dale(or chip?)!
etcetc.
you know what.
i really appreciate all those.
really.
and this year's been through alot.
look back, and realise.
how im affected, changed.
for better or worse,
i guess its all part of life.
im going to accept it.
and keep as memories.
i should be glad i've been through all those.
at least there's someone, something for me to remember about.
when people bothered to remember your day, or just a simple 'happy birthday', will make you feel touched and happy.
its enough, i guess to make it memorable.
those words are an inspiration.
that allows me to think in a different new light.
so tmr,
fresh new start.
im determined to get joy out of everything tmr.
im hoping.
its another normal day.