I had been so immature,
so plain dumb, stupid.
to this extent.
even till now.
today.
something just happened in me,
that made me say what I said,
do what I do,
in turn hurting myself like mad.
you know, I really won't be surprise at all,
if none of my friendships work out.
sorry, to whoever.
to many people, too much in fact.
and why do I keep on deteriorating when others are improving?
and why can't I take a simple truth, the cold hard truth.
I'll probably read this post again a year or two later,
and scold myself, how foolish I was, at 15 years of age.