I bloody hell hate the holidays because it gives me just more and more free time for me to think what a loser I am and how I cant maintain all my relations at all that everything just came crashing down on me how stupid how foolish I had been those times when I didnt even bother to try to maintain my relations just because I thought some things will last. sometimes I can just think through all these and laugh at it think at a positive manner maybe everything will be just fine maybe I'm perfectly normal and lots of ppl out there just being me but times like these just brings me down when I realise I should just stop lying to myself. I know its just me but whenevr I do try to make a clean start I cant.
because I don't even know where to begin with.