xiaowei says,
the thing about staying at home is able to be no one but yourself.
going out will only end up in pretending to be who you're not, putting on a mask so people wont see what's going on underneath.
the sense of insecurity hurts.
but then again, staying home allows me to be myself, and being myself simply brings more time, more thoughts, more tears.
I hate being the idiot who cant get my emotions in check.
I hate thinking about things all the time.
I hate being the loner when company dont come naturally.
I tried accepting, but others reject.
I hate last minute cancels.
I hate thinking about the week ahead and realise theres nothing planned out at all.
I feel bad relying on certain people all the time.
I hate crying at home when I'm alone about things I'm ashamed of.
and it's all my fault.
xw's not all right though.
being at home, I need to put up a pretence,
to pretend everything's fine.
为什么你带我走过最难忘的旅行,
然后留下最痛的纪念品