it's like we got so far, and finally came so near to the end point.
even though it's not really an end, it's still an end.
all these while I see myself as reluctant to leave, sad to go.
all the memories, the ups and downs I have in these 3plus yrs, binding me.
previously I will always see myself as a guide, always as one.
it's like my identity, such an integral part of me.
something I thought will never change,
something I thought is already fixed within me.
not like I dont now.
I still do, just that, things change.
I never expected us to have this very sudden change of attitude.
what was once so clear, now seems to be a little blurred.
starting to have doubts, about the people, the system.
we were so sure, but now?
talked to some people, came to this topic.
maybe we are bound by something.
I owe it to guides for my very lovely friends, especially.
the most obvious thing I felt that I really gained from guides is the company I get.
it's not right to just walk away like that, after gaining so much.
I probably wont, just that I need to reconsider why, who, what am I staying for.
it's so unexpected,
never felt like this before, seriously.
just a brief spasm of thought.